Friday, March 9, 2012

Third Time's a Charm…I Hope

This morning I am off to receive a PET Scan to finally see the status of Little Hodgy. It's been over 8 weeks of trusting the treatments, the therapies, and my body and today is the day I will find out the results.

It's been 8 weeks of wondering am I doing enough, did I make the right decision, IS THIS WORKING??

Hopefully this scan, my third PET Scan, will affirm what my gut is already telling me: Yes, I am doing enough. Yes, I made the right decision. And yes, not only is this treatment plan working, but it worked (fingers crossed!).

Regardless of the results, I do take comfort in knowing that I've committed to this path 100%. It hasn't always been easy and it will continue to challenge me once I emerge from this bubble I've been living in, but regardless of today's scan, I won't think, if only I had done [blank].

I trusted my gut and there's comfort in that.

However, I'm still a little terrified. Terrified of all the "what ifs" that go through the mind of someone with cancer. What if it hasn't' shrunk? What if it spread? What if it comes back? What if??

As my husband likes to say, "Why worry when you can panic?"

All I can do is acknowledge these fears and then let them go. Trust the universe (Or at least trust my therapist, who is the wise woman who gave me this sage advice).

So keep your fingers crossed. And hope the universe is on my side.


1 comment:

  1. my fingers, hair, legs, arms, everything is crossed for you my pretty princess!!!! Love you and am proud of your hard work and hopefully today we can say you kicked hodgey's ass!!!!!!