Friday, March 16, 2012

Homeward Bound

Today, I'm headed home! I expect nothing less than this reaction from The Puppy when I see him:

I'd also like to send a special shout out to Canine to Five, The Puppy's surrogate home while I was away! Thanks for all that you guys do!

Thursday, March 15, 2012

It's Always Darkest Before the Dawn

Picc line is out of my arm (FREEDOM!), I'm cancer free, and I'm heading home tomorrow. Shake it out.

Friday, March 9, 2012

Bad News Hodgy

No one likes to be the bearer of bad news. Especially me.

So, if you were hoping to say goodbye to Little Hodgy, I'm sorry to say you're too late. One day Little Hodgy was there, encroaching on my heart's real estate.

And today?

Today, Hodgy's GONE. Picked up and moved out. Not a trace left behind.

That's right folks, as of today, I am CANCER FREE!!!

The official scan read: "No suspicious uptake."

No mass. No elevated numbers. Nothing.

I kinda feel like Superwoman. I mean, seriously. Look what I accomplished by going against the oncologists, against the media, and against the better judgement of most people I know. In eight weeks.

I fucking did it.

Peace out Hodgy --  may you rest in hell!

Today, I just stole my Thunder back!

Today, I AM a champion.

Third Time's a Charm…I Hope

This morning I am off to receive a PET Scan to finally see the status of Little Hodgy. It's been over 8 weeks of trusting the treatments, the therapies, and my body and today is the day I will find out the results.

It's been 8 weeks of wondering am I doing enough, did I make the right decision, IS THIS WORKING??

Hopefully this scan, my third PET Scan, will affirm what my gut is already telling me: Yes, I am doing enough. Yes, I made the right decision. And yes, not only is this treatment plan working, but it worked (fingers crossed!).

Regardless of the results, I do take comfort in knowing that I've committed to this path 100%. It hasn't always been easy and it will continue to challenge me once I emerge from this bubble I've been living in, but regardless of today's scan, I won't think, if only I had done [blank].

I trusted my gut and there's comfort in that.

However, I'm still a little terrified. Terrified of all the "what ifs" that go through the mind of someone with cancer. What if it hasn't' shrunk? What if it spread? What if it comes back? What if??

As my husband likes to say, "Why worry when you can panic?"

All I can do is acknowledge these fears and then let them go. Trust the universe (Or at least trust my therapist, who is the wise woman who gave me this sage advice).

So keep your fingers crossed. And hope the universe is on my side.


Monday, March 5, 2012

Food Matters.

A few weeks ago, a friend posted this article on facebook about a holistic approach to healing cancer from the documentary, Food Matters. The article really resonated with me, mainly because I'm taking a nearly identical approach at An Oasis of Healing.

According to the article:

"A comprehensive approach to healing cancer includes at least the following eight factors:
      1. Proper nutrition and clean water
      2. Detoxification
      3. Immune building
      4. Oxygen therapy
      5. Natural chemotherapies
      6. Lifestyle changes: adequate sleep, sunlight & exercise
      7. A positive attitude
      8. Spiritual cleansing"

I definitely encourage anyone to read the article that is looking to learn and better understand the approach I am taking with my own life. And if anyone is interested in learning more about the documentary, here is the trailer:

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Lifestyle Restrictions

Diets never work. We all know this.

People do crazy diets like drink nothing but lemon juice and maple syrup or only eat grapefruits and expect to see their dramatic results last. Diets aren't sustainable.

This is why when someone is serious about changing their diet in a lasting way, they call it a "lifestyle change." A lifestyle change is supposed to be sustainable. A new way of life where you don't feel deprived of the things you love.

Everything in moderation. Everything in balance.

You know what I hate about my new "lifestyle change"? Other than the fact that I call it a "lifestyle change" when it sure as hell feels like a diet?

It's that I fear I may never be invited to another dinner party again.

"Does she have any dietary restrictions?"

Umm, let's see: No meat, no dairy, no gluten, no white products, no processed products. Organic food is preferred. Oh, and if you can make sure nothing is prepared above 105 degrees, that would be great. Thanks.

Yeah, I'm totally that girl.