Arizona: The Quirky State?

When I was younger, my family used to take regular road trips from our home in Northern Virginia down to Florida. Not so much because we loved road trips, but because we were broke and you could stuff 3 kids, a dog (or two), your mother AND your grandmother into a mini van all for the price of gas (which was pretty much free back then). And not just any mini van, but a hunter green mini van with fake wood paneling. A hunter green mini van with wood paneling and the license plate "WR42N8." And yes, folks, this was also my very first car in High School. Oh, how fortunate I was. And you wonder why I wasn't prom queen.

My mom was always a good sport and loved these car rides (or so she claimed), always staying upbeat as she loudly sang "Country Road" out the window. But we, the kids, the backseat passengers, hated it. This was before every mini van came equipped with flat screen tvs, a wii, and surround sound (although once we did try to prop our mini tv/vcr combo between the two front seats and mcguyver the wires through the cigarette lighter in order to watch movies. This was back when cars had a cigarette lighter instead of an iphone outlet).

No, we had to rely on...wait for it...our imaginations to entertain us.

"Moooooom, I'm bored!"

"USE YOUR IMAGINATIONS!"

Basically, every kid's nightmare. I'm not sure any kid is imaginative enough to stay occupied for 3 straight days of being confined to the back seat of a mini van, no matter how "42N8" we were. And let me tell you, the Alphabet game gets pretty boring around mile 10. So this usually resulted in someone getting punched and someone else in tears while my mom decided that her way of coping would be to just sing louder.

Like I said, we hated these trips.

But for me, the redeeming quality of these dreaded rides was the holy grail of pit stops -- the one, the only South of the Border.

For those who have never been, get in your car and go now. And for those of you who have been, you can stop screaming "Don't Go! It's not worth it!" Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. And for whatever reason, this tacky, fake Mexican pit stop south of the North Carolina border made the 1000 mile trip completely worth it. Don't judge. I'm a sucker for kitsch.

To me, Arizona is like South of the Border.

Ghost towns and flea markets and rodeos, oh my!

The lights of the casinos are blinding in the middle of the arid desert. It's a state where you buy both bullets for your pistol and crystals for your chakras. Steak houses and vegan restaurants neighbor each other in harmony. You can even visit a meteor crater, dinosaur park, and Bedrock City (yes, home of Fred Flinstone). All in one state!

Even their town names are full of quirky awesomeness: Bumble Bee. Surprise. Happy Jack. Inspiration. Why (I don't know, but I plan to go here and find the answer).

To me, Arizona is South of the Border on steroids.

I keep being told to find the Joy. Laugh. Remove the stress from my life (Let's remember, I have cancer). Is it possible to live a stress free life with cancer? I can't think of a better place to try. Well, maybe Bora Bora. With The Hubby. And dog.

But Arizona is a close second. And I plan to see as much of this chintzy, eccentric state filled with juxtapositions, as I possibly can.

The 15 year old inside of me is constantly screaming at every attraction, "Mom, can we go?! PLEASE!"

And you know what? I think she just might pull over.

Because the joy I find in this crazy, weird place just might make this thousand mile trip worth it.

And at the end of it all, hopefully I'll look back and remember the kitsch instead of the pain of a long grueling trip where I got punched in the face.

THE DECISION

Remember when Lebron James, a.k.a. “King James” made a mockery of all of us with his quest for the right team...with his fucking Decision? Sorry, I mean, THE Decision.

Well, researching cancer treatments, for me at least, has felt like a similar quest (minus demanding an hour long news special announcing the final verdict).  But This Decision isn’t really one I want (although ESPN, feel free to cover this if you're so inclined).

No, This Decision blows. It's a full time job, and not the one you want, but the one you're forced to take.  And, no one is giving me 15 million dollars for my decision.

Actually, it truly has become my full time job. Sadly, I recently stopped working so that I could focus fully on getting healthier. This wasn't something I planned on. It’s not like I got Cancer and said, "hey Little Hodgy, let’s stop working."  Even Hodgy knows this girl loves me some new shoes. But my treatment plan just leaves no time for work. At least not right now.

So after weeks of searching for the right treatment plan, deciding on the plan, and then changing my mind about the plan, I finally made THE Decision (I think).

I've actually made several "final" decisions already so until I start the actual treatment, there's no guarantee I won't change my mind again (sorry Hubby, I'm indecisive until I'm not. You dated me, you should know!)

But I feel confident that this is it. So confident in fact, that, “dunt-dunt-duh!”  I'm announcing THE Decision to all of you.  After endless hours of researching and countless emails and phone calls, I've decided to take my talents and head to...ARIZONA! To a treatment center called An Oasis of Healing.

I ultimately decided on An Oasis of Healing because it focuses on an integrative approach to getting rid of cancer. Rather than just poisoning my cells with chemo, I'm taking a gentler approach for my body. As I've mentioned before, chemotherapy leads to a host of short and long term side effects, including fatigue, infertility, thyroid malfunction, heart problems, and other more serious cancers.

At An Oasis of Healing, I'll be receiving Insulin Potentiation Therapy (IPT). This is a low dose chemo that uses insulin to direct the drugs directly to the cancer cells. This allows the chemo to keep most of the healthy cells intact and reduces most of the side effects of conventional therapy. In addition, I will participate in other complimentary therapies such as yoga, nutrition, supplements, and if I'm lucky, courtside tickets to a Phoenix Suns game (Hey, I girl can dream can't she? Did I mention I have cancer?).

The goal at An Oasis of Healing is to not just get rid of the cancer, but to learn how to keep it away. Kind of important when you're only 28 and promised The Hubby you'd live to be 94.

When I asked my oncologist about IPT, not surprisingly he told me he wouldn't do it because "it may be dangerous." Last I checked, chemo wasn't exactly safe.

So am I taking a risk by going against my oncologists advice? Absolutely. Just like Lebron took a risk in alienating all his fans and pissing off the rest of the world. But it is THE risk That I, Cancer Girl a.k.a. The Thunder Stealer -- need to take. Otherwise, 5 years from now I could end up with breast cancer from the radiation and I would hate myself for not at least trying a different route. And maybe Lebron felt the same way. It may be the unconventional road, but sometimes you just have to take it to avoid your own "what ifs."

Will a lot of people think I'm crazy for going against the doctor's advice? I'm sure of it. Like Lebron, I'm sure that I too will have angry fans pissed at me for switching directions and going against what's been comfortable for us all. This team works. Why risk switching to another? But also, like Lebron, it's MY decision.

In fact, You can google alternative medicine, including IPT, and will get hundreds of negative articles to confirm my so called insanity. FYI, I've read them all, so please don't flood my inbox with hate mail. Unlike Lebron, I can't handle the negativity.

But at the end of the day, I have to be the only one that is comfortable with my decision. And this is THE Decision I believe in.

Hey Arizona, You Win!  The Thunder Stealer is Coming Your Way!

Someone tell ESPN I'm ready for my close up.

True Story

Love (and Cancer) is a Battlefield

Let me tell you, Cancer is hard. Actually, let me rephrase that. Cancer is a bitch. And not just physically on the body; that part has been surprisingly easy so far. Turns out, Cancer is also hard on relationships.

I have the best husband in the world. Seriously, I lucked out big time. He's supportive of everything I do, he challenges me, makes me laugh AND will dance with me even though he thinks he looks silly doing it. But he does it because I love it. Ladies, you want a real man, find one who isn't afraid to look silly for you. That's true love.

But Cancer tries to bring out the worst in people. And on our bad days, it succeeds. The Hubby doesn't wash his dishes (so cliche, I know) and I blow up. And I get mad. And storm out.

And even though I won't admit it at the time, we both know this is not about a couple of dishes in the sink. I have cancer. And as much as I try and avoid being angry at that, sometimes I am. And rather than say I'm pissed about Little Hodgy, I yell at The Hubby for not putting his dishes away.

And in an unexpected twist, The Hubby gets pissed back. He's furious at my reaction to the dishes. He yells. Then ignores me. Then we spend the rest of the night not talking because we're both too stubborn to make the first move.

Turns out I'm not the only one that gets pissed about me having cancer. And rather than getting upset at something beyond our control, like cancer, we fight with each other. And then Cancer wins. 

And that's not all. When you have cancer and you avoid the conventional path of treatment, there are a lot of decisions that have to be made. I am not a decisive person. In fact, I hate making decisions.

What can I say, I'm an avoider.

I blame it on being the middle child and constantly compromising. But when it's ME who has cancer, it's ME who has to ultimately make the decision. This can be infuriating to The Hubby who wants nothing more than to support me, but is unable to do that because I can't make an actual decision for him to support. So again, we fight.

Marriage is hard. Even with The Perfect Hubby.

But marriage with cancer as the third wheel is even harder. I'm just lucky that I have a marriage that is able to survive something as small as the dishes and something as big as Cancer.

And when I absolutely refuse to let go of the anger first, I know he'll take one for the team and come dance for me. Because I'm lucky and found a man who's not afraid to be silly for me.

And because of that, Cancer may win the fight, but will never win the war.

Roll your eyes if you want, I know I would, but hear this: Love is a battlefield and love conquers all. Just make sure you do the dishes!

Just Do It

To show how much I believe in David's previous post, I have signed up for the Detroit Free Press Half Marathon this October. Get your jaws off the floor -- it's true.

For those of you who know me, you know I am not a runner. In fact, this image pretty accurately describes me:

But when you have cancer, nothing seems like a big deal anymore. What's a little run after you've been through chemo? If I have the endurance to beat cancer, I certainly have the endurance to run a half a marathon. Besides, in my glory days I used to be a pretty good athlete. Beer Pong counts as a sport, right?

I thought about  signing up for the whole damn thing, but I figured between all the juicing, raw food preparing, and yoga, who has time for a full marathon?

To hold me accountable to this, I have decided to run on behalf of the Make-a Wish Foundation. I'll be fundraising over the next nine months, so if anyone would like to support both me AND a good cause, you can donate on my page here.

Come on people, support the children.

Just Do It.

Let's Get Physical: Guest Post

Recently, a fellow cancer blogger, David Haas stumbled upon my blog (and here I thought my mom was my only reader) and wanted to be a guest poster. David is a cancer patient advocate for the Mesothelioma Cancer Alliance and is a regular contributor to their blog. As someone who deals regularly with other Thunder Stealers, and frankly has way more experience than I do, he offers some valuable insight on the importance of staying active before, during, and after treatment:
 

Cancer and Physical Fitness- Exercising Helps

Many doctors now advise that cancer patients enlist physical fitness as one possible option for feeling better before, during and after cancer treatment. Whether you're fighting mesothelioma or any other type of cancer, you might find it hard to believe that exercise is recommended, especially when you often feel so tired. But the benefits of exercise have proven to be great for those who have received their doctor's permission to enjoy exercise. Here are a few types of exercises you can participate in and the way in which they can help you.

Bicycling

Bicycling is an effective, whole body workout that has benefits beyond the obvious aerobic activity. Thirty minutes, five times per week on a bicycle improves heart health and helps maintain your physical condition. But biking also gets you out of the house, into the sunshine and around other people, both of which are good for your emotional state, too.

Swimming

Because the buoyancy of water supports your body's weight, swimming is an effective exercise if you need to avoid standing for long periods of time or can't participate in exercises that involve impact, such as walking or jogging. Thirty minutes of swimming is equal to approximately one hour of jogging, so you can do less, if you need to.

Walking

Choose to walk outside and you'll reap the same benefits you do when bicycling, but at a slower, gentler pace. Take a walk through your neighborhood or town to incorporate some socializing into your exercise routine.

Yoga

This peaceful form of exercise helps create a mind-body connection that has benefits that go beyond increasing balance and toning muscles. Practicing yoga can reduce stress and help calm you before going to sleep.

Weight-Bearing Exercises

Lifting lightweight dumbbells helps build and maintain muscles to keep your stamina up and help you endure side effects of cancer treatment. Additionally, working your muscles helps you maintain your range of motion so you can move about freely with pain.

The National Cancer Institute states that physical activity does more than maintain or improve physical conditioning. It also benefits the mind and emotions, often making it easier to work through with the difficulties of dealing with various types of cancer from breast cancer to mesothelioma, while reducing negative side effects. As studies continue in this area, more and more doctors are making the recommendation that their patients participate in regular exercise activities, as much as they're able.

Thanks for your contribution, David! Now all you Thunder Stealers, pull out your sneakers and get moving!

New Years Resolutions

With the start of a new year, naturally people start making resolutions: exercise more, eat less, do more charity work, be a better person.

Obviously, my new years resolution is to beat cancer's ass (while being a better person, of course). And with that goal, comes some necessary changes.

According to a woman I've been speaking with at BeatCancer.org, here is my list of resolutions:

I will live a non toxic, organic lifestyle.
I will take a 15 minute break for every hour I spend at the computer.
I will dance more.
I will walk at least 30 minutes a day.
I will do yoga.
I will drink more water (at least half my weight in ounces).

In addition to these lifestyle changes, I will follow a strict, but beneficial diet, including:
No Wheat.
No Corn.
No Dairy.
No White Products.
No Sugar.
No Caffeine.
No Microwaving. Ever.

Sounds nuts, huh? And I know what you're thinking. "What can she eat??" But oddly enough, I'm looking forward to taking on this challenge. Besides, I was a vegetarian for 10 years just because I was told I wouldn't last a week. If I had the persistence to do that at 13, I certainly can do this now with more at stake than just my pride.

All while being a better person, of course.

Happy New Year Everyone!