Last week, I got my first tattoo.
I've thought about the hypothetical tattoo for a long time -- what I would get, where it would be -- but I never imagined I would get this tattoo.
Last week, I got a dot on my chest. That's it. A tiny little dot.
If you ever watched Friends, then you might recall the episode where Phoebe decides to get a tattoo and then chickens out after the needle touches her, leaving her with one tiny dot. She went on to describe the tattoo as "the earth as seen from a great great distance."
So like Phoebe, I got a tattoo of the earth as seen from a great great distance. Unlike Phoebe, I didn't end up with a freckle size tattoo because I chickened out at the sight of the needle.
My tattoo, my freckle size dot, was not done by a tattoo artist, but by my radiologist.
My tattoo is a marker for my radiation therapy, which I start today.
After much soul searching, research, and second opinions, I finally settled on the decision. A difficult decision for a girl that always tries to come up with the right answer and is in a situation where there is no "right" answer.
This time around, I didn't get the 85% survival talk. This time, I wasn't told I had the "easy" cancer. This time, I was simply told to make a decision and hope for the best.
So that's what I'm doing. In a shitty situation, where the odds are no longer in my favor, I am hoping for the best with my decision.
For the next 4 weeks, I will spend every morning getting radiation. Personally, I'd rather get my morning jolt from a cup of coffee than a set of laser beams, but honestly, I believe it's better than the alternatives.
Come hell or high water, I'm determined to get rid of Little Hodgy.
And maybe then, I can appreciate my worldly tattoo.